Your visuals and dominion of language are super spot on, I could imagine everything happening perfectly. The prose is beautiful! My only suggestion (if youβre accepting those) is to let us know a little bit of what the characters are feeling in the moment and about the grand scheme of things. Great chapter!
Thank you. Your comments are very much appreciated.
I think the POV the story is written in (third person omniscient) is less known for being able to really show how a character thinks and feels.
But, to be honest, that is also my preference. I like to trust the reader and reveal what a character thinks and feels through dialogue and description rather than stating "Aelfric was angry" or something along those lines. I feel as though the reader's creativity is in dialogue with the writer's creativity and the end result is how a reader experiences a book.
Now, that being said, what this tells me is that I should keep an eye on whether or not the characters are leaving enough hints for the reader to be able to interpret how they think and feel about the world.
interesting chapter indeed!! not even halfway through reading i really stopped and went back to Spotify to play Dash by PLAVE. that song really goes well with this chapter, not gonna lie. reading this chapter slowly reaaallly gave me chills. i can't even pinpoint my favorite part, for real. it's like i witnessed the intense fight and was even suffocated by the fire itself. so good, kudos!! keep up with the good work <3
I really love reading your comments. The enthusiasm is palpable and really inspires me to do the best job that I can writing this story for people like you to enjoy it. π
I am very excited to have you reading along.
Also, I checked out the song and I can see why it fits.
Thanks to you!! I really enjoy reading action-heavy fantasy fiction and the way you deliver the story is just so good! I know I said this a lot but I really love the way you write things. Each word you use, the world building, how each scene feels so vivid like I myself walk through it. Amazing, 10/10
AND HEHEHE THANK YOU FOR CHECKING OUT ON PLAVE HEHEHE atp they should notice me because I really yap about them nonstop π
Thank you for your opening the way to a different world. I keep enjoying the reports from it as If they were a ticket to go there or at least come nearer without risking life or limb. Merry Christmas and all the best.
I like the way you phrased that - "opening the way to a different world" - because that really resonates with me.
What I hope to achieve most of all through writing is to build a sense of community, such as here in the comments section, with all those people who love to read what I love to write. As such, I kind-of look at it as all of us going on an adventure together, and I am very honored to be writing it.
Thank you for reading and commenting.
I hope you had a blessed Christmas day and I wish you a Happy New Year.
A last second get away! It was nice seeing the prince show initiative in saving them. Riven held his own but is clearly not a soldier, for all his other talents.
Wondering if Murdoch needs to capture Aelfric or simply kill him. Perhaps he'll collapse the well and call it a day? But evil overlords rarely accept such haphazard efforts.
Aelfric is in a difficult spot, having grown up very sheltered and now having experienced the events in chapter 1. We will see whether he will be able to grow into himself.
Your visuals and dominion of language are super spot on, I could imagine everything happening perfectly. The prose is beautiful! My only suggestion (if youβre accepting those) is to let us know a little bit of what the characters are feeling in the moment and about the grand scheme of things. Great chapter!
Thank you. Your comments are very much appreciated.
I think the POV the story is written in (third person omniscient) is less known for being able to really show how a character thinks and feels.
But, to be honest, that is also my preference. I like to trust the reader and reveal what a character thinks and feels through dialogue and description rather than stating "Aelfric was angry" or something along those lines. I feel as though the reader's creativity is in dialogue with the writer's creativity and the end result is how a reader experiences a book.
Now, that being said, what this tells me is that I should keep an eye on whether or not the characters are leaving enough hints for the reader to be able to interpret how they think and feel about the world.
Thank you for bringing this to my attention.
interesting chapter indeed!! not even halfway through reading i really stopped and went back to Spotify to play Dash by PLAVE. that song really goes well with this chapter, not gonna lie. reading this chapter slowly reaaallly gave me chills. i can't even pinpoint my favorite part, for real. it's like i witnessed the intense fight and was even suffocated by the fire itself. so good, kudos!! keep up with the good work <3
I really love reading your comments. The enthusiasm is palpable and really inspires me to do the best job that I can writing this story for people like you to enjoy it. π
I am very excited to have you reading along.
Also, I checked out the song and I can see why it fits.
Thanks to you!! I really enjoy reading action-heavy fantasy fiction and the way you deliver the story is just so good! I know I said this a lot but I really love the way you write things. Each word you use, the world building, how each scene feels so vivid like I myself walk through it. Amazing, 10/10
AND HEHEHE THANK YOU FOR CHECKING OUT ON PLAVE HEHEHE atp they should notice me because I really yap about them nonstop π
Very good read!
Thank you for your opening the way to a different world. I keep enjoying the reports from it as If they were a ticket to go there or at least come nearer without risking life or limb. Merry Christmas and all the best.
I like the way you phrased that - "opening the way to a different world" - because that really resonates with me.
What I hope to achieve most of all through writing is to build a sense of community, such as here in the comments section, with all those people who love to read what I love to write. As such, I kind-of look at it as all of us going on an adventure together, and I am very honored to be writing it.
Thank you for reading and commenting.
I hope you had a blessed Christmas day and I wish you a Happy New Year.
A last second get away! It was nice seeing the prince show initiative in saving them. Riven held his own but is clearly not a soldier, for all his other talents.
Wondering if Murdoch needs to capture Aelfric or simply kill him. Perhaps he'll collapse the well and call it a day? But evil overlords rarely accept such haphazard efforts.
Aelfric is in a difficult spot, having grown up very sheltered and now having experienced the events in chapter 1. We will see whether he will be able to grow into himself.
They have escaped - for now. But are they safe?